all of me.......

I love to read. And most often I am reading something informational as opposed to fiction. Don't get me wrong, I like a good story, but I love to learn as I read. That to me is exciting. Reading makes me more informed and often makes me wiser. It's been this way with the current book that I am reading and one of the things it has touched on is how we as people have many layers to our personalities. It talks about 'subpersonalities' and then there is the one big personality, my 'higher self', that is my true self. The part of me that is always looking and working towards my highest good. It may sound somewhat like having MPD, but in fact all of my 'multiple' personalities are normal and not pathological. All of my 'sub' personalities are vying for the attention and understanding of the 'real me' and are constantly trying to promote themselves because of their struggle with possibly anger, jealousy, resentments or maybe frustration and yet as I learn more about me I can let these personality layers rest and not feel that there needs to be such a big struggle. It's like having an 'inner' classroom of students and they are all working toward a better grade and better me. I move along through my day and as things occur I am able to reflect on my response or action (before it even happens) and view it in a different manner now and therefore create a different and positive outcome. As I recognize what they represent, which is often the 'hurt' part of me, I am able to reflect on this even in the moment and become more whole. It's when the 'real' me is able to see the 'other me's' and help them heal. I hope this doesn't sound confusing because I think once you understand it it makes so much sense. Responding to something or someone with anger or jealousy is not something that the 'real' me would promote. I know inherently that for me it is wrong and yet this side of me wants to come out and be heard. But by recognizing this early I can change my outcome and allow the 'real' me to make my path easier and I heal those parts of me that may be fractured from past experiences. This really makes alot of sense to me in terms of who I can see that I am as a person moving through my world. Only as a 'whole' person am I able to live my best life.

I really felt a great relief when I discovered this and looked at how I could make this information work for me. I now keep my actions or responses in 'check' and look at why I was about to respond in a certain fashion. By reflecting on the emotions that the subpersonalities are prone to allows me to work toward letting them go and freeing myself from causal effects that they might have brought to me.

As I have mentioned in a previous blog post this book has been in my library for many years and I had never opened it up to read it. I believe though that right now was the time when I was supposed to select it from the many books and open it up. And I'm so glad I did.

Blessings to all......

Namaste