I sat quietly several days ago and my mind was simply wandering in many directions and to many places. It then came to stop at a place that for some reason was all about aging. I found myself reflecting on the fact that I was in several years going to be 60 years old. Heaven knows I'm well aware of my age, but this thought process on that particular day felt different. Sixty that day sounded old....simple as that. I felt myself somewhat shiver with the realization that this was going to happen and it wasn't going to be good. How can I stop this? What do I do about this? Are there any choices?? Yikes....I needed to get a handle on this quick or else I felt that there was no point in wanting to even be one day older. Don't get me wrong I wasn't going to get depressed about this, but it also wasn't making me smile with joy. I was secretly hoping that there was maybe another road I could take to avoid this whole thing. Don't we come to the proverbial 'fork' in the road lots of times in our life. Well this time I think I should maybe take the other road. Hmmmm......
So I had to really take a good look at where I'm at in my 55 years here on this planet. Life for me has not been easy, but I obviously chose alot of what happened and the rest came to me for other reasons. I could decide to veer from my current life path but my life right now is good. I have been working on myself for many years and can say that I like who I have become. Others might differ in opinion and that's ok too :). I smile and laugh more than I frown or cry, so I think thats a pretty good thing. What became clear to me is that I need to look at each day carefully and create a day for myself that I can look back on and smile about or at least know that I did my best. I know that some days will be tougher than others, but they can still be dealt with in a way that will be satisfying in the end. I know this isn't rocket science, but I don't think we focus on this much. I think we walk, run or stumble through life without thinking about it too much. Only when something happens do we stop and wonder what's going on as if we are not even connected to it. I need to take ownership for each day and write my own history as beautifully as I can. So here I go on another step in my journey making sure that I take each day and live it well. It kinda sounds like 'living in the moment' doesn't it? Yes, well that's part of it. I guess for me it was just driven home in a big way when the number 60 showed up in my mind. So, that thought process has now become a gift and I am grateful. I won't say 'no thanks, you shouldn't have', because in fact yes it needed to be given to me and I did need to accept it or it would have shown up somehow or somewhere else in my life. Learning the lesson was the easy part. Now I have to apply what I already know and live it........and I think I can do that. I am the author of my own life story.....and each day is a page in my book of life.
Namaste......
"The mind that is wise mourns less for what age takes away; than what it leaves behind"
~
William Wordsworth
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